The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein

My Car Horn's Possessed

It is Sunday evening at 11pm and I am relaxing in bed after a quiet, uneventful, yet productive day.  Mixed matched socks are finally folded after weeks of separation inside the laundry basket.  Dirty towels which graced the bathroom floor are finally clean and safely tucked away in the linen closet.  Dishes are sparkling, trash is on the curb, tomorrow's outfit is ironed, the alarm clock is set, and the covers are straightened just right. 

I pick up my new book (Come Home by Lisa Scottoline) and prepare to get lost among the pages, when my thoughts are rudely interrupted by the unmistakable blare of a car horn issuing its repeated BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

I put the book down and make my way to the window, hoping against hope that my next door neighbor is to blame for the noctural noise.  Unfortunately, I am guilty as charged.   As a stare at my car, the interior lights are flickering on and off with the rhythm of the horn.  No sooner do I begin to wonder how my car horn could have gone on by itself, when something incredible happens.  The horn in Bob's car joins in the fun, adding a bit of harmony to this late night crazy car concert.

I continue to stare out the window with an incredulous expression.  I rapidly conclude there can only be two logical reasons why BOTH of our car horns have decided to go on, seemingly of their own accord.

Option 1. Someone is trying to break into our cars.
Option 2. Both cars are possessed.

Uh oh.  Both options are equally terrifying!

I ignore the fact that my 14-year old daughter Melissa has slipped into a peaceful slumber, open my mouth, and let out a blood curdling scream that sends my better half running to my rescue.

Fortunately, Bob has a rational explanation.
Seems the culprit had not been Option 1 or Option 2.  Bob and I both have sets of keys to each other's cars.  When Bob had emptied his pockets, the keys hit the desk in his home office in a way that caused the panic button to go off on my car.  Hearing the noise, Bob naturally assumed the culprit had been his car, so, he pressed the panic button on his car keys, with the intent of turning the horn off.   In reality, the first car horn to go off had been my car.  So when Bob thought he was turning his car horn off, in reality, his actions produced the opposite effect, namely, turning his car horn on.

So now Bob has not only caused both car horns to go on, he now has to contend with his lunatic wife who thinks a criminal, or even worse, a ghost, is trying to get into our cars.  Finally, as Bob explaines over the din what had happened, I reach for my keys, point them out the window in the direction of our active automobiles, and produce the welcome sound of silence.

As we climb into bed, giggling at our silliness, a tired and grumpy Melissa shouts from her bedroom, "You guys are nuts!"

I couldn't agree more.

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