The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein

Let Them Eat Pie!

It is a Saturday evening, and, since my 14-year old daughter Melissa is sleeping at a friend's house, Bob and I jump on the rare opportunity to have an actual, real, live "Date Night". 

We eat a bit more than we should during dinner, (calories officially don't count during "Date Night"), savoring every bite of bread, salad, steak, potatoes, and, to top it off, ice cream!  (No, we're not gluttons, there were no calories, remember.)

Bob let's out a sigh of contentment, and promises to return to the "Starvation Plus Package Plan" diet as soon as another day dawns.  We waddle out of the restaurant, get in the car and make our way to the movie theater.   Along the way, Bob turns down a street that seems somewhat familiar to both of us.

"Hey," says Bob.  "Isn't this the Pie Road?"

I giggle, knowing he is referring to the location of a local farmer's market that just happens to be the purveyor of the world's most delicious pies.  How do I know this?  Because about a year ago, Bob, Melissa, and I tasted every single one of the dozens of pies created by this wonderful place.  How did we just happen to taste all of these pies?  Well I will tell you in one word.....SAMPLES!

Yes, samples!  Samples of pie!   Wonderful, yummy, delicious, pie! Blueberry pie! Apple pie! Boston creme pie! Pumpkin pie! Pecan pie! Lemon meringue pie! Coconut custard pie!  You name it, they had it!

We had not intended to become professional pie tasters when we drove into the parking lot of the farmer's market.  We had recently turned the calendar page to reveal the month of October, which meant if I did not procure pumpkins, chrysanthemums, and a scarecrow for good measure, it meant that I would earn the title of "terrible mother".  After all, according to Melissa, every single house in our town already had their Halloween decorations on perfect display!

So off we journeyed to the local farmer's market to purchase pumpkins when, much to our surprise, they invited us into the back room (along with dozens of other customers) to taste a teeny, tiny piece of pie.  Of course, their goal was to wet their customers' appetites, hoping after they tried a small sample, they'd rush to the register to buy the pies, giving them a leg up on dessert for their upcoming holiday feasts. 

What they didn't count on was the Weinstein family!

The samples were diplayed in a tantalizing array of miniscule cups, each big enough to hold about 1/2 a spoonful of pie.  Bob scanned the rows upon rows of cups, and decided to try an apple pie sample.  Melissa chose blueberry, while I, being the only human in the world who doesn't like baked fruit (I'm weird, I know) chose pecan.  We threw the 1/2 spoonful down our gullet and almost lost our balance in response to the explosion of delectable flavors that greeted our mouths.  Without saying a word, we looked at each other and silently agreed, one sample just wan't enough.

We nonchalantly went back to the counter.  Bob grabbed pecan, Melissa chose pumpkin, while I took a boston cream.  Aaaahhhh......heaven!  Two samples just would not suffice.

Back to the counter we went, trying to blend in with the crowd.  Bob chose blueberry, Melissa chose apple while I picked another boston cream!   Our eyes watered.  We looked down at the three cups in our hands and again, silently agreed.  What would it hurt if we took one more?

A half an hour later, we each had a tower of tiny cups in our hands, having consumed the equivalent of five whole pies.  (Calories don't count when you are eating samples)   By this time we had developed an official "pie tasting" strategy.  One of us would stand in line while the other two would pretend to be browsing throughout the rest of the store.  When the people who worked at the counter were distracted, the person in line would grab three or four tiny cups, then bring it to the other two.  We'd gulp down our sample, and send another pie taster on their mission.  (Great values to share with our daughter, I know)

Finally, we started to notice some strange looks being thrown in our direction from both the customers and staff.  So we retreated to the register, paid for our pumpkins, chrysanthemums, and scarecrow, and left the store....without buying any pie!

A few weeks later, I did go back and purchase four pies for Thanksgiving, so the farmer's market  acutally benefitted from our gluttony.  However, the next time they advertised their free pie samples, I noticed in small print at the bottom of the ad:

 "For everyone except the Weinsteins".

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